After the dramatic events (okay, slight exaggeration) of my last blog, I am unsurprised to announce that I am still single and looking for the man who must be locked away in a castiron cage with no hope of anyone finding a key to fit...

 

Before I hang out my dirty laundry in public and bring you up to date on my life let me just say Happy New Year to all you bloggers and hope 2009 brings you all your dreams..

 

 

 

So in my last cliffhanger, I had just shared many drunken kisses with blue eyes after much flirting and angsting about if he liked me. So as you all know, I was worried about the whole 'does he want to do it again' conversation and the 'should I message him or is too desperate' debate. So what do I do in situations like that? Answer - absolutely nothing! Oh apart from check his facebook page every single time I log on and watch him out of the corner of my eye each time he was in the pub. Could I be more pathetic? After that night, we would share those silly 'we've kissed' smirks, the Facebook comments and, wait for it - eye contact! Honestly I wanted to give myself a swift slap. I'm 23 not 13 lol! But that was it, I drew a blank. I shouldn't want to be with someone who has important responsibilities (a kid) and who drinks in the pub I work ('cos let's face it, my track record with customers is shameful) but I do/did!
Let us fast forward to the second of January. Blue eyes comes in, he knew I was in a bad mood because I announced it on Facebook, so he asks if I'm alright. I assure him I am and then when I was out smoking, he asked Shortie if I was okay. So of course that little bit of info sends me in a good mood. Mucho flirting happened that night. Yes he was drinking and no I wasn't because I was working which should have been the first warning signal but do I listen? Do I fuck...(pardon my French). So at the end of the night he asks if he can speak to me outside, the desperate teenager in me agrees and out we go. He apologised to me for leaving it so long but his last girlfriend cheated on him and he wasn't sure if he was ready to get back into something else but would I like to go for a drink sometime? I felt like the cat who had got the cream but I still do that thing that all us girls do and acted coy. I told him that with him being a customer was the only thing putting me off because I've had shit said about me before and didn't want to be the centre of gossip. He said 'Do you mean ****', yes people, he said the name of the customer I made the fatal mistake of sleeping with last year. DAMN IT!! Of course I deny it but of course people know I'm lying. Anyway we swapped numbers and ended up in a game of lip action again.
I swear if he was pissed I would not have gone there but he really wasn't and as the sober one, I think I had pretty good judgement. So the next day he has his daughter but says if I'm in the pub after seven then he'll probably be there. So here's me, Shorty, JP and their other halves (because everyone is now in a relatonship) having a drink after I finish my shift. I'm expecting more tongue action but what do I get? A wimpy text from blue eyes saying he likes me but he thinksit will be too awkward for me and him to start anything. I told him not to worry about it and I didn't ask him to elaborate on what the awkwardness would be from. I felt like smashing my glass on the floor and stamping my foot and then I thought, why bother?
If this had have happened a few years ago I would have gone home, felt like the ugliest woman in the world and probably drank a bottle of wine. True, I drank (every event is an excuse for that) but I stayed out and shed zero tears because I worked out he's just not that into me and you know what? That is his problem, not mine. I'm no Cindy Crawford but if I'm being honest I am attractive and I happen to think my personality is brill! Big-headed moment but in times like these I think it is necessary ;-P
So girls, take a leaf out of my book. Don't over analyse thingd, men are not complex, if they want you they will let you know. I did wonder for a moment why he would even kiss me in the first place but then decided to spend as much time mourning this missed opportunity as he spent writing that text.

Done!

xxx